Of all the wonderful (adj: inciting wonder) things I am learning in the US, perhaps the most wonder inciting is the extended use of the phrase, "thank you". A section of the populace uses it like it is an unbalanced overcompensating parent, signifying bubbly cheerfulness at the end of accusatory or possibly even incendiary notes. Here to demonstrate my point are a few examples that I have collected over the last sevenish months:
1. From neighbour to a kindly girl who hosted the neighbour's freedom-seeking puppy till said neighbour got back from work, and then returned aforementioned p. to aforementioned n. :
"Hi X! Next time my puppy wonders [sic.] on [sic.] the hall plz dont [sic.] "rescue" it by kidnapping it in you're [sic.] room. Thanks! :)"
2. Landlord to defaulting tenant:
Dear Y, I am taking this opportunity to inform you that you have not paid up [sic.] your rents [sic.] for the last two months and this month's rent has also been not paid till today. If I do not get three month's [sic.] rent by this Friday I will be forced to evict you legally [as opposed to hiring goons to throw her out illegally?]. Thank you and have a great day!
3. Youtube comment:
I think u r a moron fukin asshole dont reply i will nt reply to u anymore ok thanks bye.
I would not vote against the general consensus that Americans are, on the whole, a bunch of rather friendly, easy-going, cheerful, and nice sort of people (especially now that they have deposed of their special-needs outbacks-President). Neither would I advocate an abandonment of good manners and a sunshiney approach to life. However, I think I speak for at least one/billionth of the world when I say that after a certain point, the friendliness and good cheer begins to sound a little creepily misguided, and is best abandoned in favour of honest rage or cold, clipped words personally delivered. Or perhaps even a good sulk.
28 comments:
I think they are stuck between the austere political politeness of the British and the blind, all-engulfing wrath of an Arab, not knowing which way to go- their ancestors or their nemesis :)
if you have devoted so many lines "Thank you!" ... you can fill pages with "Excuse me".
Btw, even the Americans know about their usage of Thanks! and you should see the 7-11 commerical - "Thank you, cum [sic.] again" spoken by a Indian dude.
lol
I'd vote for sulking and/or ice-queen frigidity. Mostly because blind rage ends badly.
uh. i'd probably do the first two (without the typos and all, though). the last one, no. but "thank you" is one of my standard phrases of cold/impersonal formality. i say it to autowallahs when i'm given back the change. i say it to the boudi at milonda's when she finally finds the time to fetch and hand in my fishfry. the startled, suspicious stare you get in return can be quite priceless.
Thank you Rimilet, for yet another wonderful post :P
come to the South, where people thank you for EVERYTHING and say "have a nice day"/"have a good one" as a matter of rote, even to perfect strangers.
not to mention, smiling at everyone, even if the smile is more a grimace. the automatic pulling up of corners of mouth, and the equally fast descent -- it is amazing to watch. after a while even you begin to do it. after all, if the perfect stranger on the footpath is trying to smile at you out of sheer force of habit, how long can you hold on to your natural city-bred churlishness and don't-you-DARe-come-too-close-to-me-or-I-shall-knee-you-in-the-groin mentality?
Oh, I know exactly what you mean! Also, the constant apologising, even for things that they are not at all responsible for- the weather for instance. Complain about the cold to your colleague, and you'll immediately get an "Oh, I'm sorry." Drives me mad, really.
Now now - what is wrong with some well directed passive-aggressiveness - or is it passive-aggression (which sounds awful)?? Check out the passive aggressive notes website for example...
By the way the word verification I kid you not is "dedlysad" - given the state of the country/world etc - that is creepily accurate.
now that's "dedlysad"
:-)
my verification word is "dumper"
I think a good sulk a day is very important.
Saptarshi--not knowing anyone British or Arab first hand, I cannot verify this theory of yours, but it seems as good a possibility as any!
SW--haha, I *have* seen that. "Excuse me" often has a valid excuse, however. This crazy use of "thank you" does not (to my mind).
Rhea--blind rage is to be discouraged under most circumstances. I have been victim to it once, and I do not enjoy the memory.
Monidipa--I think you've gracefully circled around the point of the post, love. The point is NOT using good manners as a tool of condescension or distance, but signifying utterly misplaced friendly cheerfulness. It's like saying, "Baaper naam khogen kore debo, shala haramjada! Cha khaben? Roshogolla anate bolbo?"
Soumik--welcome muchly, Soumikay.
Kaichu--yes, but they do not say it after yelling at you or threatening you with a lawsuit, do they? See my point? No?
Nina--the apologising hasn't happened to me yet, no. We sit around and bitch about the weather a great deal, though :-) Welcome to the blog!
Urmea--point. I'm being normative. Nothing wrong with being passive-aggressive... except, is this passive aggression, or misplaced good cheer? Ki mone hoy?
Nurse Em--oh dear. If there is going to be indiscriminate dumping, I shall most certainly be dedlysad ;-)
Welcome to the blog, NM. Keep dropping by!
Nishant--to practice or observe or be the cause of?
They entertain, in either case. As do you. :)
I've always wondered a little when people say "Thank you" at a restaurant when they're brought their bill. It's funny... should I or should I not be thanking the waiter for asking me to pay? :)
Well, how about thinking it this way? I think, or rather I believe, that there's something called culture shock. I guess you aren't over it yet.
D--a point well made.
Sumedha--hello! I say "thank you" when presented with the bill as well. Maybe I should glare instead ;-)
Panu--and I am certain you're not sure clear on what "culture shock" entails. How about looking it up in a proper resource? :-)
americans are crazy!they would rather fuck goats than eat them!i have this on good authority!ok thanks bye!
LOL. Really amazing thoughts about the over-meaning "Thank You". Yes its true, after the 'bad words", the ending is somewhat cooling because of this "thanks" or "thank you" phrases.
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hi, it is nice to go through ur blog…and it is well informative too…by the way why don’t you start a blog in your own mother tongue…? as i know it is not a big task….
recently i was searching for the user friendly Indian language typing tool and found .. ” quillpad”. heard that it is much more superior than the Google’s indic transliteration…!? It gives you the option of Rich Text as well as 9 Indian languages…whereas Google is providing only 5 languages and no Rich text option…
It is indeed a pleasure as well as proud moment to express our views in our own mother tongue…and it is our duty too….. so, save,protect,popularize and communicate in our own mother tongue….
try this, http://www.quillpad.in
Jai…. Ho….
Reply
yes rimi, i too want you to save and protect in your mother tongue. not to mention popularize.
Ahona--don't be evil, child. Hold your ears and say "sorry" to America.
Xaindia--to each her own :-)
Bob--right back at you, Bobbikins.
Very true. ...also phrases like 'appreciate it' etc! Used pretty liberally...
Ah, Rimi. You're the best. Yes, we Americans do feel the need to say 'thank you' for everything... and couch our covert meanness in the warmth of giving 'thanks'. I think it is supposed to make up for the fact that we've nothing else to say since we're not allowed to speak about politics or religion--two topics which are so dear to Bengalis--so we fill the silence with, well, filler. LOL!
And can I also mention that we apparently can't spell worth a shit? Dhanyabaad, darling. :)
long time no see?? :(
Screwdriver--yes, I've never quite heard people saying "'ppreciate it" quite so much. I like the sound of it, though :-)
Fem. R--you do your countrypeople injustic, M. Let not the affliction of a few be termed an epidemic, etc. :P
I'd love to hear about your encounter with Bangla, though. It's a pretty odd language, is my mother tongue.
Anjana--ei aschhi. There is so much I want to talk about that I take the easy way out and talk about none of them :-)
how endearing, no?
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hahaha.
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